Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?' A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?' 'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'
times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?' One child blurted out, 'Aces!'
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class
Memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible -
Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't
Remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely
Get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23
In front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it
Was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.'
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father
Always paused and bowed his head for a moment before
Starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so
Observant of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me
Preach a good sermon.' 'So, how come He doesn't?' she asked.
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'So your
Mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very
Commendable. What does she say?'
The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'
UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud
Whistle from one of the back pews.
Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence
And, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do
Such a thing?'
Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to
Whistle, and He did!'
TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. 'Yes, sir.' the boy replied.
'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked.
'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she
Would bless every family member, every friend, and every
animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'All girls.'
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this
Closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying, 'All Men'!'
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother. 'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a
prayer before eating at our house.' 'That's at our house.' Johnny explained.. 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!